My Ex's Pasta

I don’t thank my Ex for much, needless to say we didn’t end well. But there is always good in every situation and person and I did come away with a mighty fine pasta recipe. It’s messy, and gooey and I have changed a few things for my personal taste, but it’s a winner in my books

Ingredients:

• Butter for cooking
• 1x onion – diced
• Couple cloves of garlic- squished
• Mushrooms. I put a small punnet worth cause I like them.
• Bacon – however much you want – cut into little pieces. But don’t buy the already diced shit, that stuff is terrible.
• Chicken – I like thigh cause it doesn’t get as dry. Also, dice it.
• Truffle salt (mine is from the Mushroom Man at the Adelaide Market), but only a light dusting – any more and your taste buds will die.
• A super sweet dessert wine, I usually have a Moscato open.
• 1x large cream
• Parmesan – but the grated kind from the deli section, not the sprinkle kind from the shelves. This is shit.
• Thick pasta. You can use tagliatelle if desperate, but pappardelle is my favourite. Use the whole packet and eat for a week.
• Between 6-8 eggs

Method:

In a LARGE Pot – I like to use a giant soup pot:

1. Start by cooking the pasta.

In a frying pan with tall sides:

1. Heat butter
2. Throw in onion
3. Squish your garlic in
4. Fry for a minute (or two, generally however long it takes me to chop the mushrooms
5. Add mushrooms and sprinkle with truffle salt.
6. Add bacon pieces.
7. Add chicken pieces.
8. Fry till everything is cooked through.
9. Chuck in about a third of the bottle of Moscato. Pour yourself a glass at the same time.
10. Let the wine cook off till there isn’t much left, but it is still sticky, it just infuses everything with a beautiful sweet flavour.
11. Pour in the cream.
12. Let the cream infuse for a few minutes and then add cheese.
13. Keep tasting it along the way when it tastes yummy turn off the heat.
14. Drain your pasta and then put back in the giant pot.
15. Crack eggs into pasta and stir through. At this point, it does not need to be on the heat, as the heat from the pasta and the pan will cook them enough. I generally crack between 6-8, depending on the size of the eggs and how eggy it looks.
16. Add the fry pan yummy-ness.
17. Stir through. If you think anything needs another minute whack it back on a VERY LOW heat. Otherwise the eggs will scramble.
18. Eat